Nearly the two month mark of silence here – where does the time go?
Enid marked 11 weeks yesterday. It was also her first day in someone else’s care. It was also my first day to have a large space of hours to myself, in as much as one gets time to herself at work. All told, it made for a relatively bittersweet day. I teeter-tottered between feeling guilty about needing the time away from her, and reveling in the fact that I could freely work, use the lavatory, eat lunch, and just in general leave my office without having to keep my sweet but needy girl happy and quiet. So this is a good thing, this time apart, in the sense that work has become much less stressful and returned to being a balancing act between boredom and mania rather than the place where I juggle my 2 full-time jobs concurrently and slowly lose all semblance of sanity, patience, and sense of self.
The kids are both growing so quickly. Enid already rolls from back to tummy, flashes the most adorable, gummy smile, and has become less of a inconsolable screamer and more of a curious, happy baby. And every day I am amazed at how quickly Quinten is changing, becoming more of a boy and less of a toddler with each passing minute. He calls me Mommy now for the most part, instead of Mama. And he even tried out calling me Mom the other day and in that moment I had this sense of how quickly it’s all going to go, how quickly he is shedding the baby and becoming the child. It’s such a hard line to walk, being eager to see them grow, and also being afraid and in awe of how I blink and they’re different people again. It is these moments that make me want to bring time to a screeching halt so I can really enjoy the gifts each child has brought to me instead of getting caught up in the hustle that are our days right now. Alas, that power is not mine. Must get better about living in the moment.
In other news, we’re buying a house! T-Minus 10 days until closing.
