This is the place where I get to express myself without the limit of 140 characters. No wonder it’s been so quiet. It seems all I can muster these days are snippets of thought to share with the world.
Today has been sort of an odd, emotional day. I rock these hormones like nobody’s business, let me tell you. I found a couple more “lost” friends on Facebook today. And it was great to see their lovely faces, but it also served to remind me what a tumultuous, awkward, insecure time of high school (really ALL school) I had. I was literally consumed with comparing myself to my peers. So much so, that I can remember most of their names, but am usually in complete shock when someone outside of the small circle of friends I had remembers me. That painfully shy, insecure, tall, geek of a girl that is so often epitomized in popular culture was me. It’s still me, in a way, while I watch from the brink and avoid the spotlight at all costs.
I hear a lot of people talk about their teen years like they were the best of their lives. And I wonder who these people are and how they managed to remain so confident and care-free during what was such a torturous time for me. Everyday I came up with a plethora of ways in which I did not and would never measure up to my peers. Instead I threw myself into band and books. I eschewed prom and all those other school functions, despite people telling me I would regret it later. I still don’t regret it. And I dreamed of what life would be like once I got away from the small town I grew up in.
And now, thanks to the wonder of technology and the interwebs, I get to see a bit into the lives of these people I always considered somehow superior to me. And we’re not so different these days. We probably weren’t so different then either, though a Katrina left with any time to worry/ponder about something makes great mountains out of what are in reality, tiny, tiny mole hills.
Wow, that was a lot more than 140 characters. Must go Tweet to recover from the shock of using all these complete sentences.
I was the typical athletic, cheerleader, popular girl in school. I went to all the school functions: prom, dances, lock-ins, etc. Let me share one thing with you: my teen years were every bit as crappy! I think that for almost everyone I know, those teen years were akward, defining, and just plain wierd.
So from one messed up girl to the next, you are NOT alone, my friend.
Comment by AB — June 19, 2009 @ 8:17 am
sounds like we had the same teens years, BoHo. i chose to miss all the functions because of torturous classmates, though.
Comment by Lando — June 21, 2009 @ 12:35 am